Have you ever felt so sad, so hurt, so depressed that you were at your lowest point? You were crying all night long and no one was there to even calm you down, the only "company" you had were your favourite pillow and blanket. Your head throbs, your heart breaks, you feel worthless as every minute goes by, checking your phone for a simple text but nope, nothing. After hours, his name pops up on your screen. Of course, for a moment there you hesitate. What girl wouldnt hesitate, what girl wouldnt think if she should go back to what made her into such a mess?
And this is what you boys call ego.
I guess you only see what you want to. You dont see us being just a person with a massive amount of feelings. You dont see us being afraid of getting our hearts split again. Do you even know how scared we are? No, all you think is that one small move of us refusing is ego. Its called fear, idiot. Fear of ever being so weak,of ever being so depressed, fear of being so fucked up like the time you kept me waiting for you.
When I was crying my eyes out, screaming to my pillow, wishing I would never have to go through another day of life again, where the fuck were you? You will never understand, we may laugh on the outside, try to understand your problems, adjust with your situation, but fucking take a look in our point of view once in a while. Life doesnt only revolve around you. Why should I stay and get myself hurt while you wont even be there to calm me down when I have the chance to walk away while I still can?
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Aku dah kata. Jangan percaya dengan belas kasih dunia yang penuh muslihat. Satu hari dia baik, esok lusa dia membabikan kita. Ya, aku tau aku manusia bikin banyak masalah. Tapi itu aku punya hal, aku punya kata akhir. Mana datang benci, mana datang tikam belakang, depan, kanan, kiri.. Dari kesilapan sendiri juga sebab memberi lesen kepercayaan.
Bila berjaya, tunjuk hormat, kasi tabik sama dia. Tinggikan dada tanda bangga. Sukses, sukses. Satu mangsa jatuh. Bersedia untuk 'hentaman' seterusnya.
Bagi mata kau sendiri pencapaian kau itu satu kebangaan, satu.. kejayaan yang boleh melumpuhkan semangat.. boleh menjatuhkan maruah.
Tapi sedarkah kau? 'Pencapaian' itu lah salah satu dari 70 dosa besar.
Aku boleh buat apa? Senyum saja. Nak lawan tak boleh, saja nak jadi lebih matang. Kerja sudahpun dilaksanakan dengan sempurna. Nak babikan balik buat apa? Mengundang banyak masalah lagi. Bosan betul.
Terbaik untuk awak. Tahniah.
Bodoh. Sarkastik gila.
Bodoh. Sarkastik gila.
catatan --> DidaDidot at 11:50 PM
Friday, June 24, 2011
Hi! For the first is, sorry tak update for a week. Okay, menukang buku. Hihi :') Well, long yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! History gonna ruined everything! Omg-.- Yet, it was true. I was feeling like to cried. Okay, stop it. Mata aku maleh doh nak nangis. Hahaha.
This week the school is very suck. Do not like it. Even though, what past is past and they won't come back and change a thing. Whatever. I just want to plow through my holiday as miraculous as Mr. Bean's. Hehehe.
This is a day was very bad. I'm tired to greeted her. But no one answered. And apa aku dapat? Bodohh, langsi gila. Sakit hati je weh-.- Errr. Ohh, big shocked! Disappointed with her attitude. No change. I'm very sad. Okay, I will try. If no changesare, I will remove it. I will be looking for new friends that I am happy.
Kay, tomorrow my cousin would like to come my sweet home. Hee, I miss "HIM". I'm anxious to see him. Then maybe this Sunday I go for a picnic. Can't wait for sweet sunday :)
catatan --> DidaDidot at 10:57 PM